it's been two days since armadale hospital released me, and i decided to ring king edward's today, seeing as i was yet to hear from them. armadale gave me the impression that i would be having my surgery as soon as possible, due to the sheer size of this fricking thing. but the three different people i spoke to at king edward's all told me the same thing: there's a queue, and i'm at the end of it. actually, i'm not even in it yet.

they got my scans yesterday, but they haven't been looked at yet. once they are, they get assessed and graded, and surgery is arranged from there. i'm hoping they consider it serious enough to get me in in the next few days, because i really can't take this pain much longer. imagine the worst period pain you've ever had, sharpen it up a little, and then imagine it not. going. away.

basically, the cyst is pulling on my ovary, and pretty much the only relief i get from it is if i somehow manage to find a comfortable position that squishes the cyst and the ovary together (and uh, ewww.), or if i'm asleep. which only happens if i take enough panadeine to knock me out first, because hey, did i mention the pain?

but on the bright side, i get at least three weeks off work, and the company that i'm supposed to start working for next week rang to tell me there's a position available whenever i feel up to starting.

i got all the comments you guys left, and though i didn't get a chance to reply to them, it was really sweet and i appreciate all the concern. i'm still a little freaked out by the whole thing, but everyone around me is keeping my spirits us, and reminding me of all the things i have to be grateful for.

so my biggest problem at the moment is: do i have a high enough pain threshold to sit through 'the dark knight'? cos oh boy do i wanna see that.

so. i'm well aware that i broke my 'update every day for two weeks!' attempt. BY FOUR DAYS, woe. but at least i have a really good excuse...

i was in hospital! turns out, i have an ovarian cyst the size of four babies duct taped together!

i woke up monday morning with really bad stomach pains, on the right side of my tummy, just above my groin. i called in sick to work but thought it would get better during the day. it didn't. i called my mum about 9pm, and she got really worried that it might be appendicitus. i called this healthdirect phone line, and the nurse that answered told me that because i'd had localised pain for more that 12 hours, i had to go see someone in the next four.

my cousin/housemate amanda agreed to drive me down to our local ER, and sat with me in the waiting room for two hours. when i finally got to the doctor, he took blood and urine samples, and then i had to wait another forty-five minutes for the results. during this time, i heard the nurse in the cubicle on my right talking to the family about 'the final stages of life', and the woman in the cubicle on my left sobbing quietly. it was a really sobering moment.

when the doc came back, he told me that all my results were normal, and because i was about halfway through my menstrual cycle, he thought it was probably Mittelshmerz. he told me to take some panadeine, try to relax, and come back in the morning for more tests if the pain was still there.

this morning, it was. i rang the radiology clinic he'd referred me too, and arranged a pelvic ultrasound so they could examine my appendix. my mum came and got me, and took me in. during the ultrasound, they told me they couldn't see my appendix, and that i would need a CT scan. after the scan, they told me they were sending my results back to the ER, and i had to go there for the final diagnosis.

after waiting another half an hour there, they called me into the back and made me sit in ANOTHER waiting room, before taking me into a private room. the nurse went out and got my mum from out the front, and when she came in, she was crying. all they'd told her was that they'd isolated me in a single room, and were fast tracking my treatment. by this stage, they hadn't told me anything. the nurse said they were just reviewing my scans, and would be in in a few minutes. when i looked out the window, my scans were up on the board, and there were EIGHT doctors looking at them.

that's when i started to freak out.

finally, a surgeon came back and told me they'd found a cyst growing off of my right ovary, and couldn't see my appendix because of it. he told me the cyst is 29cm x 23cm x 9cm (11 x 9 x 3.5 inches), and is basically filling my entire abdomen.



yeah.

all the nurses kept coming in to talk to me, because apparently it's the largest cyst they've ever seen at this hospital. none of them could believe i'd never had any symptoms from it, because it's probably been there for at least a year. FOUR different doctors came in to poke at my stomach, and my arms are bruised from all the blood they took and all the drips they put in for the pain (none of which did ANYTHING).





the doctor said they're almost positive it's nothing serious. they obviously can't make a final call on it being a cyst until they get in there, but he said there's a really, really small chance it's anything nasty.

so i have to go into surgery in the next couple of days. because of the sheer size of it, they have to cut me open just above my groin and remove it that way. they don't know what else they're going to have to take out with it though. as far as they can tell, it's only attached to one ovary, so they shouldn't need to take anything else, except maybe that.

i don't. i don't even know what to think. i've never really wanted kids but what if they have to take everything and i never get to make that choice? what if it's not a cyst? i'm supposed to be starting a new job next week! i have to call them tomorrow and explain i can't come in for another two weeks, at least, because of the recovery time. i go part time at my other job as of monday, in anticipation of this new job, so there goes over half of my pay.

not to mention the fact that hey, i'm not a skinny girl, so all of these procedures have been humiliating and degrading and make my skin crawl. and they're only going to get worse.

i know i'm lucky, because it's probably not serious, and it hasn't ruptured or burst or done any real damage, but fuck, i'm really freaking out about this.

anyway. i'm going to be absent for the next couple of days, at least. i'll let you guys know what happens.

bah im chNGING THE DATE SO THIS TILL COUNTS.

i'vi've had a bit to drink weeeee. we went out for dinnerand then i asked everyone where they were going and they kept sayig norhtbridge but not wheree so i yelled ethat norhtbridge is not an answer people no deal! so went hone fo r a while and had some drinkies then finally they said the shed so we went there but the lkine was too long so we went to the casino inseead and i lsot #20. not cool lgealised gambling, not coool.

softlyforgotten (6:11:05 PM): YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS GAY?
inovertime (6:11:10 PM): YOUR MUM?
softlyforgotten (6:11:14 PM): SADLY NOT
inovertime (6:11:27 PM): OKAY THEN WHO?
softlyforgotten (6:11:31 PM): NO, I WAS GOING TO SAY THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS!
softlyforgotten (6:11:35 PM): EXCEPT THEY'RE NOT REALLY GAY
softlyforgotten (6:11:40 PM): BUT THEY ARE COMING TO ADELAIDE!!!!!!!!
inovertime (6:11:46 PM): ...............
softlyforgotten (6:11:49 PM): AKJHGKSJGHSKJGHSG
inovertime (6:11:50 PM): DOT DOT DOT
softlyforgotten (6:12:01 PM): AHHHHHHHHH MY LIFE IS SO AMAZING
inovertime (6:12:14 PM): ahahaha
inovertime (6:12:35 PM): i'm sensing some ~HAPPY VIBES off you mikaella. is it possible you could be feeling...a little....upbeat? about something?

also, too awesome to go under an lj cut. sorry!

OH BOYS.

how much do i love that jon walker just CAN'T RIDE THAT DAMN BIKE? and brendon urie, stop killing me with your stupid little face, kthnks.

whenever i've had a bad day, i like to remind myself: brendon urie exists!

so there's no way i'm going to finish this before 12, which means this technically won't count as me posting once a day. but, uh. whatever. I HAVE PICTURES OF BRENDON URIE, OKAY, and this clearly overrides all that jazz. (click for larger images.)


nnngh, this is one of my favourites ever. his little face! the lighting! his jaw!!


my mind has gone to a very, very dirty place.


at first i was all 'homg brendon's fingers!' aaaaaaand then i saw spencer's. holyshit.


SEXHAIR.


*keymash*


wow. i just. i may be a little unhealthily obsessed.

at least i'm not alone \o/